I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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