Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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