Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
