I cockslap morals
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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