But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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