You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
