my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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