you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
