you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
