I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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