But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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