so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
