i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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