apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
