I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
