so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Randomize
