he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
