You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She's the barista slut.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize