My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
