Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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