uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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