Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
