I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Randomize
