I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I could make wine with my vomit
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
