Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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