He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
