My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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