I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
