Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
