We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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