he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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