I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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