I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
