i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize