Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
