i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
