Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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