I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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