You really coming over, don't trick.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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