I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
