He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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