Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
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