He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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