I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
