Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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