was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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