Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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