the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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