The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
