k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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