I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
