blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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