it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
