so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize