Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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