That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
