I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
