my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
