just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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